I am coming home to YOU

"Come home running.. His arms are open wide.. His name is Jesus.. He understands"


I will have to admit that i sort of wandered away from Him.
yes, i serve Him... i attend The Feast but the personal relationship? it went off.
sabi nga ng friend ko, "spiritually dry"...
it was just all about service., but the personal relationship kind of stopped. iba pa rin pala talaga pag alam mong ung personal relationship mo with the Lord ay andun pa din at mas nagddeepen.

i used to pray a lot, talk to Him a lot, tell Him everything.. during those times, i was at my very best.. i love who i was... i was very patient, understanding, loving, happy...people noticed how much i've changed... but i wandered away from Him.. i started hating people, i think a lot about bad things.. i say bad things,, i wasn't so Christ-like.. naging masyado kong topakin,demanding, maarte, selfish, impatient.sinful..
it felt like i was carrying a very heavy load.. my heart became stiff...
i am still loving but i feel like it's not my all.. i could still give more when i have God within me.
i realized that i was indeed spiritually dry, i forgot to talk to Him.. i forgot Him and me,, i forgot "us"
kaya siguro minsan talagang namo-move ako pag ung talk and worship ay about coming back to Him.. kasi tinatawag nya ko...
namimiss nya na ko...namimiss nya na ung madz na lagi syang kinakausap.. lagi syang kinukulit.. lagi syang kinekwentuhan about the day, about people..about life, love life :(

but Your love for me never changed.. You're just waiting for me to come home to You. sorry if it took me long enough to realize that i went away.. and now that i am back, i hope people will see YOU more through me :) Again, just like before :)
___________________________________________________________________________
i'm sorry Lord if i wandered away from You :'(
and now that i am running back to you, thank you for still accepting me and loving me with arms wide open..
namiss kita Lord.. sorry kung lumayo ako sayo... alam ko po nagseserve ako pero nakalimutan kitang kausapin.. nakalimutan ko "tayo"... ayan tuloy Lord, inaadmit ako.. naging hindi kagandahan ung mga inasal ko lately.. may mga tao akong nasaktan at patuloy pang nasasaktan kasi di ako naging tulad mo...
sorry for the times na tinatawag mo na ko pero lumalayo pa din ako...lalapit man ako, saglit lang.. pero after awhile, wala na ko ulit.. sorry Lord .. pero you still continue to welcome me and i cant thank You enough for that... and now here i am, bumabalik sayo.. nawala man ako but i am happy to be back Home with YOU! :)
i feel so happy and blessed that i have a very loving God who always accepts me despite my unworthiness.

for the people that i have hurt for how i've been acting lately.. i am sorry...
forgive me,i'll try to be better this time.. accept me again :')

and to the man who made me realize things, thank you Ryan :) I owe you! :)
>>>:D<<<

2010 hurrah!

“Let's be grateful for those who give us happiness; they are the charming gardeners who make our soul bloom.” - Marcel Proust

 2010 is about to end and I don’t want this year to end with saying thank you to the people who have made my 2010 happy and memorable… This year definitely is one of the best years in my life. I’ve been so blessed with so many things and people. I laughed, I cried, I got hurt, I fell in love, I smiled, I danced, I sang, I expected too much, I hated some and a lot more. I consider everything that I’ve gone through blessings and I’ve learned from all those.

This post will be very loooonggg… I am telling you, but your names will be on bold letters, just find your name is you don’t want to read the whole entry J

DHOEPZ

        Whenever I reminisce about my college years, I will never ever forget this friendship that I have found in you guys. Endless chikahan, kwentuhan, iyakan, tambay, awayan, lasingan, gimik. i might have gone insane if you guys weren’t there to guide me and slap me during those days. :p

 Thank you for the wonderful gift of friendship. I am definitely blessed to have friends like you who accept me and love me J I LOVE YOU GUYS!

TROPANG MURET

        I wouldn’t be where I am today without your help guys. Kayong mga ka-duty ko, maaagang gumigising. Kasama sa hirap at ginhawa ng isang pagiging student nurse noon. Nasigawan ako kasama niyo, napagalitan, umiyak, tumawa, nabadtrip, nabastos at lahat na kasama kayo!

        I pray that next year, we will all have our jobs wherein we will all grow and be where we really want to be and do what we really want to do! Thank you guys for making me sane during our tiring nursing days J MAHAL KO KAYO! J

LOSERS

(HANAH AND DOTH)

 Both of you are like my sisters already. There are things that only you two know and there are definitely things that I did ONLY with the both of you *winks* … Thank you for the wonderful gift of sisterhood, I never really imagines that I would be close to you  two! But I am very much thankful that I gained sisters in you J I love you both!

FEASTMATES

(MAFE,KELLY,ERIKA,MELA,JOY,LOVELOVE,MJ,GATTOC,EUNICE,STEPH,MARIZ,WINA,ELAI,JAYANNE,DOTH) ---s0rry kung may nakalimutan..

            Thank you and I am happy that I gained sisters in Christ with you guys J I am happy and blessed because finally I found friends who I can my innermost feelings with and would not judge but would just accept me and love me and understand me. I am happy I found friend who I can pray with and worship with and who are very supportive of my dream to become a missionary and to serve the Lord. God truly blessed me so much when He gave me friends like you guys J

            May God grant all of your hearts’ desires! Love you Guys! J

FRIENDS FROM FEAST MANILA MUSIC MIN

(KAREN,SALENG,SAH,CHUB,RHEDG,KATE)

            Thank you sa nakakaloka at napaka nakakabaliw na friendship! Haha :p

Salamat sa pagsigaw ng pangalan ko palagi sa sinehan pag nakikita niyo ko J thank you kasi kahit di naman ako part ng mumin, e ginugulo nyo pa rin ako at pinapasaya niyo ko! J salamat sa palaging paghahanap sakin, sa laging pagkamusta J sa pagyakap! Sa pag-aaya sakin sa kung ano man meron kayo! J  love ko kayo! J

para sa mga bata dyan, love kayo ni ate madz! J

Waffle, love kita, text mo ko pag nabasa mo to, via text ang msg ko J

Chub, salamat! J alam mo na yun!

YFOF MUSICMIN FAMILY

            Thank you for accepting me and letting me serve with you guys. It has always been my dream to become a part of music ministry! J I am happy that I have you guys who are all crazy to serve the Lord. I always feel so happy and welcomed when I am with you guys! Thank you for the laughters, the asaran… happy ako kahit kelan ko lang kayo nakasama J  thanks for loving me and making sure that I am fine J LOVE KO KAYO!! Rakenroll pa! J

FAMILY LOVESS

            Isa kayo sa mga the best na blessings na natanggap ko ngayong taon! Thank you for accepting me in your family kahit na “bago” lang ako sa feast. Thank you for always cheering me up pag tinotopak ako kahit na di niyo naman alam minsan bakit ako tinotopak. Thank you for the endless lambing and words of encouragement that always put a smile on my face. Thank you for making me feel so welcomed and accepted with all of my imperfections. Thanks for listening to my topaks and sentiments. Hihi. Promise, babawasan ko na J Thank you kasi nakilala ko kayo na alam ko makakatulong sakin para mas maging mabuti akong tao at matupad ko ang mga pangarap ko sa buhay. I AM GLAD TO BE A PART OF THIS FAMILY WHO PUTS GOD AS THE CENTER OF THE GROUP! J GOD BLESS US MORE ALWAYS!

SPIRITUAL FAMILY (Cabrillas)

            Thank you dad, mom, ate faith, ate ikay, gretchie,jedy, robbie, reesee, ate myrna and ate rona!! THANK YOU FOR PUSHING ME TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON. Thank you for your unconditional love and support for whatever it is that I am doing. Thank you for accepting me and treating me as your real sister/daughter. I am sooo blessed to have all of you and I can say that God definitely knows how to make me happy and secured.  ISA KAYO SA MGA BEST NA NAGYARI SA BUHAY KO NGAYONG TAON! J I will forever be thankful that I have all of you as my “family”. Love na love ko kayo!! As in!!!!!!!!!!!!! di ko na alam pano ko kayo pasasalamatan! J

Thanks for the guidance, love, support, umpog sa pader(para matauhan) HAHAHA J

RYAN NABUS

             Hey bie, thank you for making my 2010 extra special J thank you for the fun, sad, tampuhan, awayan. Lahat yun blessings and I learned from all of those. I am happy I met you. I don’t want to sound cheesy here. baka pagusapan tayo ng bongga! haha

 Text me pag nabasa mo to, dun ko sabihin J thank you for loving me and thank you for understanding my topaks J I hope next year would be better for both of us. Thanks and sory for everything!  I love you lots!  sana mas maging happy ka and successful next year! :) i will pray for you! :)  

 there are still lots of things that i am thankful for :) and i can say that 2010 is a great year! :) God has blessed me so much and so in return, i am whole heartedly lifting my life to Him. His will be done unto me :)  THANK YOU LORD! 

            I WISH ALL OF YOU A  HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS 2011!! GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU MORE! BE SAFE! LOVE KO KAYO! J

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”-

Edith Lovejoy Pierce quotes

God Whispers something magnificent to me today

i check my mail daily because i receive wonderful mails everyday from the Lord through Bro. Bo :)

look what i got today---

Dear Madz,

If only you see what I see in you.  Then you'll realize how great I am—and how great you are.

Your Infinite Source of Blessings,
God

P.S. I'll give you a hint.  Madz, you're more magnificent than a quadrillion suns put together.  (And I know suns.  I made every single one of them.)

-----

I'm overwhelmed. 

God never fails to make me feel loved .

He knows how to cheer me up and make me feel that life is indeed wonderful

i am beautiful, i am loved. 

i am God's magnificent creation :)

thank You, ** kinikilig nanaman ako**

wooott!!!

i will never get tired of loving you God. 

You are the only person who loves me and accepts me as i am.

You're the only person who truly respects me and treats me as a precious gem :)

i will forever be your magnificent creation! 

Love letter ni Lord

i'm calling you by the name that gives you comfort and warmth.

maddie,
alam mo ba na mahal na mahal kita?
nagawa kong ibuwis ang buhay ko para lang sayo.
hindi ako nagsisisi na minamahal kita ng sobra dahil sa napakabuti mong kalooban.
hindi mo ba nakikita na sadyang napaka ganda mong dalaga? :)
may nagpapabigat ba ng loob mo ngayon?
sana ay wala dahil nasasaktan din ako pag nakikita kitang nasasaktan.
gustong gusto kita yakapin at sabihin sayong, "maddie, you are beautiful, loved and worthy"
pero kung meron mang bumabagabag sa iyo ngayon, nais ko lang malaman mo na you deserve the best of everything. mahal na mahal kita. wala akong ibang hangad kundi ang kaligayahan ng iyong puso.
wag kang mag-alala, andito lang ako para sayo, isa ka sa mga magagandang nangyari sa buhay ko.
hinding hindi kita iiwan at pababayaan.

Maddie, maraming tao ang napapasaya mo sa bawat ngiti mo.
may mga panahong sadyang mahirap para sayo ang ngumiti pero isipin mo lang palagi na andito lang ako at nagpadala ako ng napaka raming tao na nagmamahal sayo ng totoo para ipadama sayo na kaya mo ang lahat ng bagay at ikaw ay karapat dapat mahalin ng tama.
ipagpatuloy mo lang ang pagiging isang mabuting tao.
proud na proud ako sayo!

nagmamahal,

Lord, Jesus Christ. :)

I am so inlove with you!

i am so inlove with YOU <3
i am not ashamed to tell the world that i am so inlove with YOU! :)
i love YOU more than anything and anyone else in this world, im giving my life to YOU! :)

kinikilig ako pag tinatawag mo ko, iba ung lambing mo e. sobrang nakakagaan ng pakiramdam :)
im gonna serve YOU all my days!!
nag-iisa ka sa buhay ko!

when i'm not okay, at nakausap kita, sobrang sarap umiyak sa mga yakap mo. ramdam na ramdam ko na niyayakap mo ko pag umiiyak ako sayo. salamat LORD! salamat!
wala talagang makakatapat sa pagmamahal mo :)
tapos naririnig ko pang binubulong mo sakin, "Madz, you are loved and worthy"
ganun kasimple pero wala na kong ibang hihilingin pa.
THE BEST KA! :)

dati ang saklap lang ng tingin ko sa buhay ko, mundo.
parang napaka hirap mabuhay. hindi masaya. may kulang palagi.
sarap magpakamatay. ganun dati eh.
pero nung hinayaan kitang pumasok sa buhay ko, i've never been soo happy :)
ikaw lang pala ang kulang sa buhay ko.
nakalimutan ko na andyan ka lang, nakalimutan kong inaantay mo lang akong lumapit sayo kesa ung ibang bagay ang ginagawa ko makalimot lang sa problema tulad ng paginom, pagwawala, pagparty.
pero may mas masaya palang party, at yun ay ang party para sayo! WORSHIP! :)
magwawala ako para sayo, kahit magmukha pa akong baliw!
walang tatalo dyan!
kahit sugatan ko, tanggap na tanggap mo ko.
kahit palpak ako, handa mo parin akong yakapin at tanggapin.
YOUR LOVE IS HEALING ME, LORD!


sobrang salamat Lord!
i just want to thank YOU Lord with an outstretched arms! :)
sa sobrang blessings na binigay mo sakin,
for getting me out of darkness
for healing all of my pains
THANK YOU!
i am sooo thankful and i will bless YOUR name forever!

kainlove inlove ka naman talaga Lord e!
di naman na tinatanong yan, ikaw and the best!
IKAW ANG NUMBER ONE!
unang una ka sa buhay ko!
walang tatalo sa pagmamahal mo :)
when all else fails, ikaw lang talaga ang handang umakbay sakin.
kahit ako ang mali, kinocomfort mo pa din ako.
sino ba namang baliw ang tatanggi sa pagmamahal na binibigay mo?!

SALAMAT at INLOVE na INLOVE ako SAYO! <3 <3 <3

IKAW ANG NUMBER ONE, LORD!

iba lang ang pakiramdam ko :)
di ko macontain yung LOVE na binibigay niya sakin :)
alam nya talaga kung paano ako pasayahin.. alam nya kung paano at kelan :)

nagsimula ito nung friday, nagkaron ng soft launch ng Feast St.Paul <3
we went early to show support sa students since nakasama ko na sila ng medyo matagal para sa paglaunch ng feast st.paul sa december. pagkasundo ko pa lang kay dad sa gate, sobrang nabless na ko :)))
alam ko he's not okay becauseof his family pero he still went to st.paul kasi special sa kanya ang paulinians :)
hanggang sa ayun na, nagstart na.
SOBRANG GALING!!!
SOBRANG NAKAKABLESS! :)
talk pa lang ni dad e, sobrang gaan na sa pakiramdam :)))
ayun worship worship :)
dad knows the desires of my heart, kaya habang nung mellow worship song, di ko napigilan :)
NAPALUHA AKO SA SAYA! :)
NAPALUHA AKO KASI NAIYAK KO NA KAY LORD UNG MGA DINADAMDAM KO <3
ang sarap lang talaga lambingin ni Lord!:)

after naman nung feast st.paul, FEAST MANILA na! :)
"Find your wound. Find your wish"
GANUN KASIMPLE.
kung saan ka may pagkukulang, ung ang hinihiling mo.
pero
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.
:)
at syempre, sa bawat wish mo na yan. kelangan matuto ka din gumalaw :)

== ANG FRIDAY KO NA YAN AY PUNONG-PUNO NG BLESSINGS NI LORD==

kanina naman, i was given the chance to attend a worship workshop led by Bro. George Gabriel.
andun lahat ng mga music ministries ng iba't ibangfeast :)
ang dami ko na pala pamilya sa feast :)
Campus feast. feast manila. feast pasig :))
iba lang ang feeling ko dito :)
sobrang nakakabless!!!!!!
dami ko pang nameet na new friends! as in! :)
kinilig nanaman ako sa pagharana kay Lord!
at kinilig ako kasi binulong nya sakin, "Madz, you are Loved and you are Worthy"
ang sarap Lord! :)
overflowing love tank Lord!

 EVERY SONG CAN BE SUNG AS FIRST TIME
** nakakainspire makakita ng sobrang daming tao na adik na adik talaga kay Lord. i feel so blessed that i am one of them at nakasama ko sila ngayon.


i'll never get tired of singing praises for you Lord!
:)
ang sarap magmahal ng maraming tao kasi Lord, mahal na mahal mo ko :)

AT HINDI AKO MAGSASAWANG MAHALIN KA LORD, IKAW ANG NUMBER ONE! <3

Life

August 27,  2010


- a date that i will never forget :) 
my day started just like any other days, but a bit more excited coz it's friday. meaning it's FEAST manila day :)
it was almost lunch time, i accompanied my brother to the hospital for a check-up.. while talking to doc dennis, i looked at my phone and saw someone calling. "private no." ... so i immediately answered it.
"hello madz. nurse ka na" 
it was hanah!!! :D the first one who told me that i passed!
di pa din ako makapaniwala nun. tinext ko pa siya na wag syang nagjojoke. i said bad words to her. haha :p
ganun kami maglambingan :)) kasi, ang unusual naman na irelease sa ganung oras.. HAHAHA
 tinext ko boyfriend ko to check, sa kanya ko kelangan marining na pasado na ko :) HAHA 
gusto ko madami magsabi kasi wala ko sa bahay, baka pinagttripan lang ako. haha
then ryan called, 
ryan: "bie!! (said the numbers..)"
me:ano yan?! pasado ba ko????!!!!
ryan: ung number mo.
me: e ano nga?! pasado?!
ryan: nurse ka na!!! 
me: wah!!!!! oh my god!!!!! **screaming kahit nasa ospial ako!!! :))) 


pag naalala ko yan ngayon, naeexcite pa din ako. 
andun pa din ung thrill :)
sobrang SARAP NG FEELING <3 


ngayon, 3rd day, pero i still have the same feeling. i cant contain the happiness that i have kahit na masakit ulo ko kahapon pa. i am soo happy. the hard work paid off! 
all the prayers were answered!
:)))))))
sarap lang nung friday.. saya ng feeling!!
tapos aug. 27 pa yun, august 28 monthsary pa namin ni ryan.
CAN LIFE GET ANY BETTER?!?!?! :))
  ang saya lang e :))


--------------------
Lord,
thank you so much for listening to the desires of my heart.
dati pa man, student pa lang ako sinasabi ko na po na hindi ako makakaabot ng 2nd, 3rd yr at 4th ng dahil lang sa wala.
pinanghihinaan ng loob sa sobrang hirap, pero sabi ko may dahilan kung bakit andito pa din ako.
kaya aral pa din, sige lang. duty pa din. 
eversince naman po, inooffer ko sayo ung mga ginagawa ko. 
i offered myself since them to make me your instrument of love.
at hindi niyo po ako pinabayaan.
ngayon po Lord, nurse na ko :)
thank you po for letting me pass. 
alam ko po ginusto niyo to para po mas makatulong ako.
i wont fail you Lord. 
i'll continue serving YOU AND YOU PEOPLE 
ibabalik ko po sa inyo ng sobra sobrang etong pagpasa ko!
nagpray agad ako, kumanta agad ng worship song pagkapasa ko! 
LORD, MY LICENSE IS FOR YOU!
pinagppray ko po lahat ng tao na nagpray for me. 
bless them more LORD. 


AMEN